“Let’s go, let’s go!”

We still had a long way back. Especially knowing all the places and all the passes we still had to cross. The challenge was immense. Drained, fatigued, and low on energy but a destination on mind. We set ourselves a task. Yuri, quite silent now, must’ve cursed me a lot in his mind. Mercy, we cannot overhear others mind. All the while I’ve been repeating those words as if we’re short on time. A train we’re sure to miss and we are permanently a few seconds too late. There is no respite. I don’t let us rest too long. A short break to stretch our muscles never amounted to more than five minutes. I repeat the words again much to Yuri’s dismay. Perhaps, it was then that I realized something about myself. We all have different levels of resolve in ourselves. I want to push myself beyond my limit and then some more. I’m constantly canvassing the perimeter of my limit created by my mind and body. And maybe, I was expecting Yuri to match my level of craziness when I repeated those words time and again. At a time when even I was unsure if we’d make it back to Manali as it was getting darker by the minute. I thought I may have bitten off more than I could chew. Not that it would stop me from trying though. I was ready. My travel companion was not. Now, ‘if’ is a big word that has infinite universes inside it. A black hole of all the possible things that could be vary from reality. Say, if I was alone on that journey, it could be that I would have dared to journey back all the way from Leh to Manali at one go. Nonetheless, as the saying goes, if ‘ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a merry christmas.’

Maybe it’s time you hear that as well.